Toilets and Technology
Don't worry--the toilet humour on this page is relatively clean!In Japan, using the toilet is always an adventure. You don't know, no matter where you're going, what you'll end up with. Technological marvels with heated seats, built-in bidets (and blow dryers!) alternate with middle age holes in the ground; conventional (Western) toilets alternate with old washiki squat toilets, and the expensiveness or quality of the place you're visiting has little bearing on what's in the bathroom. I've visited ancient thatched-roof farmhouses that offered the latest technological wonders (in a drafty little room beneath a single naked light bulb) and fine homes that still had the equivalent of a Porta-potty.
Rate the Restroom: The Best- The beer garden at the Asahi Beer Hall, that looks like a giant golden poop on a black pedestal. Brushed aluminum everything, shiny black ultramodern fixtures, invisible automatic controls, strategic spotlights... If Darth Vader had a private restroom aboard the Death Star, this is what it would have looked like. The Worst: Random public restroom close to Hakata Canal City. Ill leave it at that. Breathing not recommended. Also, if you can, avoid the train station restrooms on major thoroughfares especially on Friday nights when the mass drinking starts. Trust me.
Not a pretty site.
The Day the Toilet Fought Back: After a long day walking around Tenjin (downtown Fukuoka), i had to unfortunately partake in the facilities at a certain hotel. Ill try my best to explain the events that took place without lowering the conversation to that of toilet humour. First off, it was a hole in the ground. A hole in the ground! Not sure how women do it but trying to squat and do one's business is somewhat uncomfortable. From there on it just got worse. I couldn't find the flush handle on the toilet tank (it was on the side rather than in front). The seat was surrounded by a console filled with little buttons, all marked in Japanese, and unable to read them, I randomly pressed one... the one marked "BIDET..."
As an aside, there are a lot of people out there who have never used or seen a bidet. A bidet is a fixture that looks like a toilet, only with a faucet turning upward. It's for personal hygiene, and much more sanitary than just wiping with paper. Anyway, the bidet has moderate popularity in Japan, and can be found in both private homes and public restrooms. I pressed the button, and with horror on my face, i watched a little nozzle emerge from beneath the seat and blast me as well as the opposite wall.
Prob the most stressful experience of my life
63 days
posted by Verge Das Neves @ 7:32 PM
Comments: 3
